I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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