are you still at the devil's house?
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
