We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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