Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize