I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
