did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The air was thick with penises
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
