also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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