trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
