He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
