Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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