Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize