You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
