Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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