Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i dont even know how to be here
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
