You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
