I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
