You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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