Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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