you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
