I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
