I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
