you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
