so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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