my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I have feelings that need drinking.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
