my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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