why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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