i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
