Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can feel your judgement through the phone
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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