And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize