Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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