I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My dick has a subreddit
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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