were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You are a genius and a whore.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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