Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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