first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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