So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
