Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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