a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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