sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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