This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
