Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
