what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
