That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
