I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
