I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We are two peas in an std pod
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
