I look better un-naked...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I could fuck to npr.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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