Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i think i just lost a toe
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize