Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
