She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize