Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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