Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize