i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
