you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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