I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
be right there i have to get my cape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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