I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
