He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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