i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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