remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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