i barfeds in our rink
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
