i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
