omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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