Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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