well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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