Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
