1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
