A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
