Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
