let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
