Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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