and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
