I think I died a long time ago.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We have started to decorate penises.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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