May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
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you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
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The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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